i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize