can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
there is puke in my bra ... again
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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