her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
areolas are like halos for boobs.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize