party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
