Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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