Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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