she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize