I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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