I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
