whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
