And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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