ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize