Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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