His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
