Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
