walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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