Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
