I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
