I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
