Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
