It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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