i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i came on her dog
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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