My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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