Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You had me at "let me see your balls"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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