The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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