I have demons in me.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
