All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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