i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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