ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
