finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize