He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
