me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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