The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm way too hungover for life right now
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
