He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
