I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
