explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
