She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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