im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
