I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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