Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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