Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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