So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize