youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
