She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
