I hate your face
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
