Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
