The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
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