i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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