I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
