OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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