Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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