so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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