she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
