I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
