So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize