im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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