after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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