i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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