remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
