Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
