and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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