How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
