True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
