just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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