I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
