I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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