Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
