Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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