Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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