Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My pussy is not your playground.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
