There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
