Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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