He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
whose parrot is this?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
