what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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