Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
