3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
