After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
