I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
