Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
