i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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