Umm I'm too high to move.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
