Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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