he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
