Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
